To be really, really, really honest with you guys, by writing this post I already broke my own oath for banning myself away from blogging world for awhile (reasons will be explained later). But I'm worried if I keep this up, I'll end up leaving the blog permanently. That's why despite of being conflicted, I finally set one foot on the door of blogland and write.
So what have you been up to, Roma?I can't promise you a breathtaking story, but neither can I say it's boring. All I can say is the April to May journey of mine is like a rollercoaster.
The ups and downs in this 2013 is too extreme, methinks. I was the happiest person in the world, then was reverted into the most anxious person, then back to be jubilant, but then a week went by and I was digging my nails to my kneecaps from severe distress. Don't worry, though, right now I just emit awesome (heheh) otherwise I wouldn't be here writing!
Anyway, to make up for my long absence, this post will be a bit massive. I broke it down to bite-sized pieces to make it easier to read teehee.
#1 That Singing Test
(Resolved in Mid-April 2013)
do re mi fa so la ti do~
Gosh, this must be the most stressful test I've ever had in my entire life. Perhaps the experience is similar to those who audition for X-Factor or Voice Indonesia, pfft. The test was held by my church, exclusively for those who want to join the choir group. I think I can sing quite okay (I can tell almost immediately if my singing is off-key).
But there is only one problem: sight-reading/singing ability is the main requirement to join the choir!
I can't read music notes to save my life, so I took a speedy vocal class in hope of mastering the ability within a month. Each time I noticed the audition time drawing nearer and nearer, the more I got stressed out. How couldn't I be? There would be six judges to decide whether I could join the choir or not!
Thank God the first stage is over. By His grace, I got accepted (despite of the music-reading skill deficiency). But I can't keep my guard down, since after this I still have to undergo practice with the group seniors to perfect it!
#2 My View on Beauty and Beauty Blogging
(Resolved in April 2013)
I hope no one takes this wrongly. But I've got a different point of view in beauty and blogging now.
The first time I was introduced into the beauty blogging world, I became really awful in maintaining my income. I have a sensitive and acne-prone skin, and I was desperate to find the cure for my skin. I know I've tried tens of those skincare products, and I always justify myself at buying a new one for the sake of healing my acnes and blemishes. But that is, of course, a huge, fat lie. I bought not what I need, I bought what I wanted.
After I withdrew for a couple of months from beauty reviews, the less interested I am in buying new products. I think I have saved much better since I decided not to be engaged to any beauty whateverthings.
Remember my 2013 resolution? On number 2 I wrote down that I will drop TEN pounds.
I... I actually have dropped way more than that. During my effort to lose my weight, I kind of neglect my skin since I'm focused on the diet program and only eat healthy foods.
And guess what? Not only "you are what you eat" but also "your skin is what you eat"!
My skin looks better without those gajillion products slapped o to my face LOL. I just can't help thinking that I'm such an eedjit for wasting my money in vain *sigh* Anyway, I'd love to write in details, but I'll need to lose more kilos first~ Hopefully soon I will write a special entry about my effort on dieting!
#3 Losing A Friend
(Resolved in Mid-April 2013)
Welcome to Sucky McSucky Street
I hate it. But then again, who doesn't? Honestly though, for me this could be the hardest thing to deal with. Thing is, despite of my outgoing personality, I'm very particular in calling someone a 'best-friend'. Moreover, I've been struggling to fight my co-dependency for years, so it's not easy to feel nor say "I'm okay," knowing very well that the best-friend whom I called sister is someone I can't depend on anymore. I've had a difficult time to accept the fact that we aren't as close anymore. That we have absolutely nothing in common anymore. That we have different priorities in life.
It really depressed me to the point where I had to seek comfort from google (lol) since I don't see a point of whining about it to anyone. Much to my surprise, I'm not the only one who had a hard time to get over the broken friendship. Reading those articles cheered me up a little, made me realized that there's nothing I can do but moving on.
#4 Teaching Life
(Resolved in May 2013)
Sheesh, please cross that Arithmetic out *hates Math*
I guess everyone has a moment of doubt of their own career and that's including me! Just a couple of months ago I was all fed up of my teaching career. I didn't realize it was that transparent until one student commented, "Miss, why do you look like you don't enjoy teaching?" to which I merely replied with a weak laugh.
Whilst feeling very bored with the current career, I was also doing my part-time jobs, secretly hoping to expand the career options. During the time I've had a thought of becoming a beauty product seller, a marketer, a translator, and, oh, I don't know, anything not related to teaching! (Except teaching ToEFL since it pays really well hahaha.)
I'm glad, though, that this only lasted for awhile. It might not be the best job in the world, but being a teacher is what I am; and teaching is the thing I'm really good at.
#5 Drawing Again?
(Resolved in May 2013)
Can't I be any geekier? Yeesh
Before I took teaching as a full-time job, I was a full-time geek, manga artist and illustrator. My work was little known by people, but I thought pursuing my 'dream' would be the best choice in my life. During this time, I had a special relationship with an American manga-artist, who kept saying that I should live for myself and that I should join hands to create epic comics collaborations. We were the dynamic duo and were so positive and we swore we could take on the world together.
Long story short, we disbanded, mostly because of my fault and this family situation I had. It broke my heart so bad that I decided to forget everything about drawings. I even quit reading comics, and everything that would remind of them. Because, every time I lift my pencil, I would just be haunted about the breakup.
It took me around 3 years to recover from the trauma whatnot. In fact, only few days back I decided to go back practicing my drawing again! I guess I'll be posting my art every once in awhile on romacchiato. Perhaps a mini-comic about my daily life or whatever teehee.
Alright! I think I'll just leave some of my old work here for my readers? If any. Heehee.